Leaves Read online

  Clover So she thinks it’s all right for her to spend all day in bed – not coming out, not speaking to anyone – and then to wake us up when we’re trying to sleep?

  Lori I’m sorry.

  Clover That’s not good enough.

  Lori Then I’m sorry for that, too.

  Silence. They stare at each other.

  Clover So what did you want?

  Silence.

  Poppy She just wanted to see us, Clovey. She’s been tired – haven’t you, Lori? – it’s not her fault – she’s ill – she just wanted to see us. I think you’re being –

  Clover You think I’m being –?

  Poppy Just stop it. Let’s just be nice to each other.

  Clover Right.

  Good plan.

  Lori Please don’t do this to me.

  Clover Oh, I’m sorry.

  I forgot for a second that it was poor you.

  I forgot: you’re the one that swallowed a whole bottle of fucking sleeping tablets and almost died and I forgot that we had to be nice to you because of it /

  Poppy / Clover!

  Clover You know what, Lori? You wouldn’t’ve done what you did if you stopped to think for one second and remembered the rest of us.

  What do you think it’s been like for us, then?

  Poppy Shut up, Clover. Shut up, okay?

  Lori I didn’t mean it like that.

  Poppy It’s okay, Lori –

  Clover You didn’t mean what like what, you didn’t mean the sleeping pills, was that a mistake, / because

  Lori / I didn’t mean –

  Clover Do you know that you pretty much broke Mum’s heart, for a start?

  Do you think there’s a hope that she’ll ever be happy again?

  I always used to be so proud that you were my older sister. In school and that.

  I mean, yeah, of course I hated it too, sometimes – I hated you sometimes – but most of the time I was so proud of you.

  Lori You’ve grown up since I’ve been away.

  Clover Yeah, you reckon?

  Well you’ve –

  You’ve –

  (Petulantly.) Grown down.

  Beat.

  Clover, and then Lori, unexpectedly – despite themselves – and Clover very grudgingly – start to giggle. Poppy is bemused.

  Stupid.

  Poppy Stop it, you two – why are you laughing? What’s so funny?

  Lori Nothing.

  Nothing’s funny. Nothing at all.

  Clover You have, though. You’ve got dead skinny. You look about twelve. You look like you should be the youngest out of all of us. Doesn’t she, Poppy?

  Lori I wish I could be twelve again.

  Poppy It’s not that great.

  Clover You haven’t even been twelve for the first time yet.

  Poppy Shut up. I practically am.

  Clover Lori – you’d hate to be twelve again, anyway.

  I know I would. Remember how shit being twelve actually is.

  Poppy (hotly) Yeah, especially if you’ve got older sisters who treat you like –

  Clover Shush, you’ll wake Mum and Dad.

  Beat.

  And don’t be silly, Lori. ‘I wanna be twelve again’, it’s not as if your life’s over.

  Poppy Clover!

  Clover Don’t you be telling me what I can and cannot say, Poppy.

  Silence.

  Lori C’mere, Pops. Come and sit here.

  Beat.

  Poppy Come on, Clovey. Let’s just be friends.

  Clover There’s not room for three.

  Poppy Yes there is!

  Clover I’m not – cuddling up on Lori’s bed, okay?

  Poppy You’re horrible, Clover. You always have to spoil everything.

  Clover Piss off, Poppy.

  Poppy Shut up!

  Clover Shut up? Shut up? No, I will not shut up!

  ’Cause, Poppy, I want Lori to answer my questions! Like why did she stay hidden away in her room all day? Does she have any idea how horrible it was at dinner time? Does she have any idea how horrible it’s been?

  Beat.

  Poppy She’s. Ill. Clover.

  Ignore her, Lori.

  Silence.

  Clover Well, if you’ve got nothing to say for yourself then –

  I’m going back to bed.

  Poppy Go on, then.

  We’re fine just the two of us, aren’t we, Lori.

  Clover I mean it. Unless you – unless you have anything to say, I’m going back to bed right now.

  Lori Clovey, in the –

  Beat.

  When I was in the clinic – on the ward – I couldn’t sleep – the sound of other people, you know, their breathing, and, and the little whimpering noises they’d make in their sleep. For the first couple of days they gave me pills, you know, and you’d just pass out and be unconscious till the morning. And then the last two nights they didn’t, and I lay there trying to think myself somewhere else. And I thought – do you know what I thought of – do you remember when we used to play Bedknobs and Broomsticks on the bed in the spare room?

  Clover So?

  I don’t see what that has to do with anything, Lori.

  Lori Well –

  Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?

  Clover What?

  I don’t know.

  Anywhere?

  Lori Yeah, like it can be anywhere, like from when we were little or anything. It doesn’t even have to be real.

  Clover I don’t know –

  Lori Anywhere …

  Clover I don’t know.

  Lori Where I decided on, was Donaghadee.

  The lighthouse at Donaghadee.

  Clover Right.

  But – Lori – I don’t know what you’re saying.

  Lori Remember every time Dad test drove a new car we’d all pile in and drive up to Donaghadee?

  Clover (despite herself) The way the cars always smelt.

  Lori And we’d always get an ice cream –

  Clover (despite herself) Oh yeah, from the Italian place.

  And you always got Pooh Bear.

  Poppy I don’t remember that.

  Lori Oh, you were probably too young – this is, like, when me and Clovey were wee, isn’t it, Clovey –

  Clover Yeah, ’cause it was before Grandpa died, wasn’t it, ’cause after he died Dad would never go to Donaghadee any more.

  Beat.

  Lori That’s right. But do you know why it’s the place I chose? ’Cause when we were driving back, over Craigantlet, and you could see all of Belfast, and the lights were just beginning to come on –

  Mum said, once, that when we were really little, we used to think all the lights were fairyland. I like that. I mean I can’t remember it – I’ve tried and tried and I can’t actually remember it at all, but I like it that we thought that.

  Beat.

  Do you understand what I’m trying to say?

  Beat.

  Clover No, Lori – no – actually – I don’t.

  Lori I don’t know how to say it any other way.

  You really don’t understand?

  Beat.

  You remember, though?

  Clover Yeah but Lori what’s remembering got to do with –

  Poppy I remember.

  Fairyland. I remember that.

  Beat.

  Lori You don’t remember that, Pops.

  Poppy I do!

  Lori You don’t. There’s no way you can remember that.

  You weren’t born yet.

  Poppy I want to remember what you two remember.

  Lori But you weren’t there, Pops! Or else you were too young to –

  Poppy That’s what you always say.

  You always say, / ‘You’re too young, Poppy –’

  Clover Poppy …

  Poppy No, it’s not fair!

  All my life, Lori, all my life you’ve always said, ‘You’re too young, Poppy.’

  Like when
the two of youse used to play Stick in the Mud with – (Flaps her hands as she gets increasingly flustered.) – with that boy and girl who used to live next door but one –

  Clover Pops –

  Poppy No, Clovey, I want to say this – when you two used to play and, Lori, you never used to let me play.

  Clover Poppy –

  Lori You were too little, Poppy. Your legs were too short.

  Poppy That!

  That’s what you always said!

  ‘You’re too little, / Poppy, your legs –’

  Clover You used to cry when you were It.

  Poppy What?

  Clover You used to cry / when you –

  Poppy Only because I could never run fast enough to catch you.

  Lori Exactly, Pops, see, it wasn’t your fault, you were just too little to –

  Poppy But, Lori, I’ve always been too little.

  I used to think that when I got to your age – whatever age you were – or Clovey’s age –

  But by then you were always bigger.

  And by the time I was old enough to play Stick in the Mud properly you never wanted to play any more because you were all into – make-up, and boys.

  If I had sisters, Lori, that were the age of Clover and me when you were my age –

  I’d love them.

  I’d play with them all day. I’d never be too bored or too grown-up to play with them. And I would never, ever laugh at them, or run so fast they couldn’t keep up, or –

  Lori Well, good for you, Poppy.

  Poppy What?

  Lori I said, good for you.

  You’d make a much better sister than I ever was.

  I’m a failure even at being a sister, I know, I don’t need you to tell me.

  So – good for you.

  Beat.

  Clover There’s no need for that.

  There’s no need to be –

  Poppy You’re not a failure, Lori, don’t say that.

  Beat.

  Mum found one of your old school photos the other day – it was of your ballet class. And she thought it was me and I was like – Mum – since when have I done ballet? And I looked so like you Mum left it out for Dad to see. And when Dad came home, he picked it up and said, Poppy, since when have you done ballet? But it was you.

  Lori You’re not me, Poppy.

  Beat.

  Poppy What?

  Lori I said you’re not me.

  Poppy I heard what you said –

  Lori Well then.

  Poppy I wasn’t saying that I was.

  I was just saying –

  I was just trying to be –

  Clover Leave her alone, Lori.

  Lori What?

  Clover Picking on Poppy, it’s pathetic, you’re almost twenty she’s not even twelve. Leave her alone.

  Poppy I don’t need you to stick up for me, Clover.

  Lori (to Clover) Since when did you become the chairman of us?

  Clover (at Lori) You’re stupid if you want to be like her anyway, Poppy.

  You’re better than her. We both are.

  Poppy Shut up, Clover.

  Beat.

  Clover I’m going back to bed.

  Beat.

  You should go back to bed too, Poppy.

  Beat.

  Poppy does not move.

  Clover turns and leaves.

  Silence.

  Lori You should go to bed too, Poppy.

  Poppy What?

  Why?

  Lori It’s – late.

  Poppy I don’t mind! I don’t mind that, Lori!

  Shall I play the tape again?

  ‘The Skaters’ Waltz’? Shall I play it?

  Lori No.

  No. Not – now.

  You should go back to bed.

  Poppy Lori can I –

  Can I stay with you?

  Can I sleep in your bed? I won’t take up much room, and I won’t kick or anything –

  Lori I don’t –

  Poppy Please, Lori?

  I don’t think you should be –

  I just want to, is all.

  Please, Lori?

  Lori I think you should go back to bed.

  Beat.

  Poppy (crestfallen) Fine.

  All right, Lori.

  She gets up and goes to the door. She lingers in the doorway.

  Beat.

  Lori Go to bed, Poppy.

  Poppy I just wanted to say, Lori –

  I’m glad you’re back.

  I was the one that made the card, and – and wrapped the presents, and everything.

  Lori Right.

  Poppy waits for a second, but Lori doesn’t say anything, and Poppy leaves quickly.

  Lori stands in the middle of the room.

  She goes over to the wall and gazes at the photo collage.

  She pulls down one of the photos and stares at it.

  She lets it drop to the floor.

  She pulls down another; drops it. And another.

  SCENE THREE

  The following day.

  David is working on his book of Irish place names.

  Lori comes into the room.

  He looks up and attempts a smile.

  David How are you feeling?

  Lori (shrugs) Yeah.

  David Good, that’s –

  Silence.

  Lori (for something to say) So –

  Where’s Mum.

  David I –

  Is she in the kitchen, maybe.

  Lori Oh.

  Maybe.

  Beat.

  And where are, uh –

  Pops and Clovey?

  David Clover has music practice on Saturday mornings, doesn’t she.

  Lori Oh.

  David And I think Poppy has gone round to a friend’s house.

  Lori Right.

  Dad –

  Beat.

  David Yes?

  Lori Nothing.

  Beat.

  David If you’re hungry, I think there’s some of last night’s dinner in the fridge.

  Your mother made –

  ‘Haricot bean and root vegetable stew with curly kale.’

  Lori Right.

  I’m not really hungry.

  David No.

  Beat.

  Lori I just couldn’t – yesterday I mean – I just couldn’t –

  Beat.

  David Right.

  Lori And I’m sorry it’s just –

  Silence.

  David You should eat something now, though.

  Get your strength up. You can’t expect to feel better if –

  Lori Yeah, I’m just not –

  David Right.

  You should try to eat something, though.

  Lori Yeah. I know.

  Silence.

  David Yes, well.

  Beat.

  It’s good you’re up.

  Feeling better.

  Silence.

  Well.

  He coughs awkwardly, and then smiles and looks away.

  He returns to his notes.

  Lori stands watching him.

  Lori Is that your book, Dad?

  David My what.

  Yes, yes, it is.

  Lori Right.

  Beat.

  What are you –

  I mean, anything –

  David Oh, this is just a –

  This bit’s necessary, but not particularly interesting.

  I’m –

  I’m cross-referencing a couple of place names in the Annals, that’s all.

  Lori Oh.

  David Nothing exciting, I’m afraid.

  Lori Right.

  Silence.

  You’ve hardly spoken to me since I got back, Dad.

  Beat.

  Dad.

  Silence.

  David I don’t know what to say to you, Lori.

  I don’t know what to say to you.

  Lori You don’t have to say anything, I don’t want you to say a
nything, I just want you to –

  David (slowly, not looking at her) You’ve crossed a line, Lori.

  I’m afraid you’ve –

  Beat.

  And you have to understand, it’s going to take time.

  It’s about – trust. Because how do we know we’re not going to walk in on you –

  Beat.

  I’m sorry.

  Look, Lori –

  Beat.

  I’m afraid I can’t have this conversation with you.

  Not now. Not yet.

  Silence.

  Then Phyllis enters.

  She looks from her husband to her daughter.

  Beat.

  Then she speaks.

  Phyllis You’re up, Lori.

  That’s great.

  How are you feeling?

  Lori Mum –

  Beat.

  Phyllis You should get dressed.

  No point sitting around in your pyjamas all day, is there now.

  David Leave her be, Phyllis.

  Phyllis What’s that?

  David Just –

  Phyllis (brittle) Oh, I’m sorry, David.

  I’m only her mother, after all.

  Lori Don’t, Mum.

  Phyllis What’s that, Lori?

  David Look, Lori and I were just –

  Phyllis Oh, I’m interrupting, am I?

  David We were just having a little chat, that’s all.

  Phyllis Well.

  Well, then I shall leave you to it.

  Lori Mum –

  Phyllis Don’t worry, I can tell when I’m not wanted.

  Phyllis turns quickly and leaves.

  Silence.

  The front door slams.

  Silence.

  Lori I don’t know what to do, Dad.

  I don’t know what to do to make things okay again.

  Silence.

  Say something.

  Beat.

  Please, Dad –

  David Give it time, Lori.

  Your mother’s –

  Your mother’s been –

  Just give it time.

  I don’t know what else to say to you.

  Silence.

  Lori Is that it, Dad?

  Is that all –

  David Just tell me what you want me to say, Lori, and I’ll say it.

  Just –

  Say the word, and I’ll –

  Beat.

  He cannot finish the sentence.

  Silence.

  Lori I need some boxes.

  David Sorry?

  Lori Boxes, cardboard boxes, I need some –

  David Right.

  There are some in the, in the garage, I think.

  Lori Right.

  Silence.

  Right.

  Beat.

  Like, like packing boxes.

  David Packing boxes, yes.

  Lori Right.

  Silence.

  David does not look at his daughter.

  Lori turns and leaves.